The slightest senstation of the joy of God is beyond the capacity of words to express… the overflow is simply too fantastic!
Although on me, the joy came as through the power of words. The very words that the Lord had been been speaking in my mind suddenly became a soft, gentle whisper–like a warm, gentle breeze that overcame me, so as to slowly embrace me. At first, it came from one direction and then from all around. It was the most pleasant sensation I could ever describe. It encircled me, and then began to pour into the depths of me–into the emptiness that had been inside me. And there had indeed been a great emptiness inside.
The Lord had set my heart on fire. For weeks it burned in pain, and nothing could cure it except for Him. I ran to Him. I was destroyed. I was as helpless as I could ever be; I was like one lying in the dust of the earth. I prayed and fasted desperately for His grace. And in one sudden moment, I was free. Every prayer that I had asked of Him, everything that I had been pleading, He answered in a single moment. The burdens that I was carrying: the pain, depression, sadness–all of these the Lord took away. One by one, He took them out of me, showing me what each of them were. As they were emptied from me, an emptiness was left behind–a beautiful emptiness! With each breath I could feel it, and with each breath I could feel joy! For days I could feel it, and simple prayer would not help but become outloud laughter. It was the presence of the Spirit of God on me.
I wanted more, and I asked for more. The Lord would wake me at sunrise every morning so that I might see every new day as it began. I could feel Him say, “See, I have made another new day for you, and it is beautiful;” and indeed the world had become very beautiful, and it looked very new. Every morning I would go to Him in prayer, seeking Him, trying to enter that place where He spoke to me before. For days I would pray to Him over the reading of His Word. Then, one morning, I did not get up to pray. I lay still in my bed, calming my mind, and quieting my spirit within me. (I realized that the Lord wanted to show Himself to me, and that it was not me that was going to take from Him, but He who was the going to give). After a short while I could see things in my mind! A pond was there, very quiet and very calm. A single lily was floating on it with hardly any movement. Below it in the water were tadpoles still in their eggs. Slowly, over the next moments they began to hatch free, first one, then another, then rapidly the rest were set free…
Suddenly, Wisdom was standing there in front of me! (I could see her in my mind) She was overjoyed! She gave me a cup of good wine to drink, the same that she prepares every day for those who come to her, for those who come to eat from the table which Jesus prepares. She began to kiss me in joyful excitement, and give me cakes and good things to eat. I ate them in my thoughts, and they tasted very good! She spoke in eagerness of how much she adores me, and showed me amazing things from the Father–things wonderful to tell! Sometimes Wisdom comes, and sometimes Jesus comes; sometimes I am taken to the Father–but every morning I rise and eat from the good table which is made fresh for us each day, the daily Bread, the water made into the good Wine which has been saved until now!
